Introduction

You get in your car and start the commute to work. Everything is fine because it’s just you, your satellite radio with no commercials that was totally worth it, and a cup of coffee to sip.  At the office parking lot you start your walk to the building, still feeling good at this point because what is about to happen, hasn’t happened yet.  And then it happens… you are at your desk surrounded by annoying coworkers.  Each of them having their own unique button-pushing powers, given to them by Satan himself.  These people are so flawed that they are oblivious to their absolutely unacceptable annoyingness.  It’s true, since when does an obnoxious coworker ever stop himself mid sentence and say “oh, I should stop. This is probably annoying the shit out of you.”  Fucking NEVER.  As you read through the articles and commentary on this site, be forewarned that some of the content is harsh. However, it is no harsher that the thoughts YOU have when you are sitting across from one of them.  Yes, you know exactly the thoughts I’m talking about. More>>>

 

Featured Articles


Insecure Bragger

What a pompous a-hole this person is.  First off, the Insecure Bragger has baggage, and that is the main reason he must constantly dominate conversations so that he can bring the focus on himself and the great accomplishments he has made.  Baggage for these types often comes from years of competing in the workplace with younger people that are highly educated. Most of the IB’s I’ve worked with were older and industry seasoned.  So in their mind, a lack of years experience means your ideas are inferior and just not worth considering. More>>> 

The Stupid Handshaker

Need I say more? These guys are the total worst.  It’s usually a middle age to late aged guy that thinks he’s still in college and that the funny “in” thing to do is make retard handshakes with coworkers.  His signature move: once the handshake clasp is engaged, he uses his index finger to lightly scratch the palm of the other person. WTF? I don’t know where you grew up, but the urban legend I always heard about that particular handshake was it was a single mean “Hey, wanna fuck?”  Sorry, that’s gross AND creepy to the 100th degree.  And then, to make it that much worse, as you jolt your hand back in utter disgust he grips harder so you can escape his awful duchebagness!  Just wrong, I tell you.  All it takes is one occurrence of this to get a non-expiring hall pass to avoid all physical contact from this perv at all subsequent interactions.  Whenever he would extend his hand I would cock my head to the side and say, “No, thanks, I know how you roll.” And that would be that.  To him it was a joke, to me it was my fight of flight mechanism.  If you want to take the approach of talking it out with this type of person to let him know, hey, I don’t appreciate the weird handshakes, you certainly can, but keep in mind your reluctance could fuel his perverse desire to do it even more. We’re not dealing with a  normal person here.  Somehow in his mind what he is doing is funny and there might be any changing that perspective no matter what you do. More>>>

The Speakerphone Abuser

I wish there was a good excuse for these guys, like they have a hearing disorder that causes them to think the volume of their voice and the speaker are MUCH lower than they really are.  Or maybe they have a special condition with their ear drum that makes it super sensitive to a phone handset up against their ear and instead they must use the speaker phone.  Something so that I can grow an emotional sensitivity to so I don’t look down at these jerks with utter disdain.  The disruption to the entire office caused by these people is horrendous.  There was a guy that worked in my office that was a two-fold speakerphone abuser jack-nuts.  He would not only use his desk hard line speaker phone to make all calls and annoy this shit out of everyone, he would use his mobile phone on speaker phone when he was at different spots of the office!  I know, pass me the shotgun, please. One time he was pacing around the office talking on his cell, in speaker phone mode, talking to a client. I traded several wtf looks with my colleagues until I finally couldn’t take it and had to say something. Luckily he was a nice guy and quickly took the call off speakerphone and walked back to his cube.  Not a single day goes by where I don’t meet a person I’m glad I’m not.  That clueless bastard will strike again; it’s just a matter of time... More>>> 

The “Mother Hen” Syndrome

The Mother Hen SyndroThe Mother Hen Syndrome occurs at all work places, no matter what industry, how big or small the staff or the structure of the organization.  Period.  Here’s what it is.  The Mother Hen is the office manager or other administrative position, usually having a degree of seniority, but it doesn’t have to be much.  This lady will be in charge of ordering all the office supplies, incoming and outgoing mail, coordinating deliveries and FedExing of stuff and management of the receptionist (in my experience).  So they syndrome is when this hag feels empowered to manage everyone in the office that she has no business managing.  Common activities of the Mother Hen are... More>>>

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Techniques


Calming & Headphones
Starter song for the day
Breathing Exercises
Leave the office / go for a walk
Talk to people you DO likeThe Inner Circle: Know who they are and make sure you get in.
Be a 2-Face
The Teflon Don Boss: Doesn’t reply to emails or check phone msg
Social Media and the Workplace
Always Looking: Keep your network warm and remember the “offer you can’t refuse” concept.

More>>>

Stories